M. Night Shyamalan’s The Happening Script Review
August 12, 2007 by James
What is it?
M. Night Shyamalan’s follow-up to the professional disappointment of Lady in the Water.
In a nutshell:
The Day after Tomorrow…with plants.
What’s the plot?
A middle school science teacher (Mark Wahlberg), his estranged wife (Zooey Deschanel), best friend (John Leguizamo) and his daughter fight to stay alive as a powerful neurotoxin creates global chaos.
Trivia:
In late 2006, this script (under the title The Green Effect) was offered to and passed on by every major studio.
In a personally-unprecedented move, Shyamalan took the studio’s notes and incorporated them into a rewrite titled The Happening. The new version was purchased by 20th Century Fox with production starting this month.
MAJOR SPOILERS AFTER THE JUMP
What’s good about it?
-An unstoppable mass suicide epidemic caused by airborne toxin is a fairly-ballsy premise for a mainstream thriller.
-Opening scenes (featuring folks stepping off skyscrapers like lemmings, among other bloody catastrophes) are pretty intense.
-It’s easily the most violent screenplay Night has written. I’d be very surprised if this didn’t earn an R rating.
-Pacing.
-Spelling, formatting, grammar and punctuation seem spot-on.
A quick history:
Flashback to 1998. It’s around one a.m. on a work night, I’m trying to get to sleep without success.
Figuring some reading will help, I grab the screenplay for some Bruce Willis movie that’s going to be shooting later in the year. I’ve been putting off reading it because a) it’s a late 90’s Bruce Willis movie and B) I’ve never heard of the writer/director, M. Night Shyamalan, before. I expect to read a few pages before passing out. An hour later, I’m hitting “the twist” and my brain explodes.
In the morning, I’m excitedly describing the script to anyone who will listen. My mantra is that “if this guy can transform 75% of what’s on the page to the screen: this is going to be a classic film.” Cut to the next summer: I’m sitting at a Saturday night advance screening of the film and thrilled to see that Shyamalan can direct as well as he writes. Almost 700 million worldwide and near-universal critical reaction confirms that.
Early 2000, I’m reading Unbreakable…and not convinced. Simply not feeling it. The film comes and goes and still never really registers with me.
Thanks to my Unbreakable indifference, I make no attempt to read the screenplay for Signs. To my surprise, I pretty much love it when it opens in 2002.
In 2004: The Village comes and goes. Both the script and film are deeply flawed, but there are moments I enjoy. Lady in the Water hits in 2006 and mark the director’s first commercial disappointment. Many folks believed that the film’s failure will force Shyamalan to take inventory and possibly re-spark his creative energy.
A year later…I’ve just finished reading his new screenplay, The Happening, and I only have one conclusion: this is M. Night hitting rock bottom.
What’s bad about it?
(A quick note: if Shyamalan is planning on shooting this as a full-out comedy, much of my criticism is moot. For his sake, I truly hope that’s the plan.)
-Note: the film is about killer trees and plants.
-The Happening features the most moronic environmentalism in the history of cinema. It makes On Deadly Ground look like An Inconvenient Truth.
-The Kindergarten-level message of the film is that if Mankind continues to be cruel to nature…nature will eventually fight back. In case you miss this (despite having it sledge-hammered into your brain for two hours) don’t despair: Shyamalan has characters spell-it-out for us throughout the proceedings.
- The script starts off strong with some truly horrific moments of violence. Unfortunately, one the nature of the film’s antagonist becomes clear…things get funny. Fast. No amount of bloodshed can change that.
- Even Night’s critics admit that he has a knack for character work. Remember how he made you care about Cole Sear and Malcolm Crowe? The family in Signs?
Here, he’s taken a different approach and given us a group of characters as one-dimensional and stereotypical as those found in any lowest common denominator, big-budget spectacular.
Prepare to be completely ambivalent over the fate of boring school teacher (who, in lieu of being interesting, carries a guitar) and his equally boring wife (who…sends text messages to someone we never meet). I didn’t care if these two lived or died and I sure as hell didn’t care if they reconciled.
- Do you like characters outrunning fireballs? How about characters outrunning WIND?
- Laugh-out loud moment: A woman speaks to her teenage daughter via cell phone. She attempts to reassure the girl that everything will be ok, but to stay indoors. After all, the tree outside can’t hurt her, right? Suddenly…the phone goes dead. The mother becomes frantic: “Stacey? STACEY!!!!!!!!”
- The script takes the classic “idiot plot” to previously unknown levels of retardation. Question: If nature itself turned against mankind…wouldn’t the logical course of action be to seek refuge indoors, nail your windows shut and try to make the room as airtight as possible? Off the top of my head, I can think of a dozen spots that would be infinitely safer than roaming around fields, forests and gardens aimlessly. Yet, Shyamalan has his characters do just that. It’s completely illogical and only serves to move the story from one nail-biting sequence to another.
- Again note: the film is about killer trees and killer plants.
- The critics are going to savage this. The late night comedy guys are going to have a field day. It will be Christmas in July for the Shyamalan detractors of the world.
Moments of deja-vu?
Worldwide chaos through the eyes of an isolated group/family unit? Signs.
Estranged couple that hardly speaks, but still loves one another? Unbreakable, The Sixth Sense
Emotionally-damaged child who whispers a lot?The Sixth Sense.
How does this screenplay rip off Asian cinema?
The mass suicide angle closely mirrors the plot of Sion Sono’s 2002 film, Jisatsu Sakuru aka Suicide Circle (My review of the sequel here).
How about a big spoiler?
Plant life reacts to negative and positive energy accordingly. If you are a negative person, a tree is more likely to kill you. No, I’m not joking.
Overall:
Genuinely depressing work from a screenwriter/director I admire.
It’s worse than The Village and Lady in the Water (which I haven’t seen, admittedly)? Ouch, ouch, ouch. So the studio notes might have made the film worse?
This actually made me a little sad. I was hoping for a bounce back from the guy. I also enjoyed Sixth Sense and Signs, and I really liked Unbreakable, but the man doesn’t seem to have people with common sense around him anymore.
So does this mean Brian Cox is supposed to be in this movie, too?
Nick, if I knew more about the legalities of posting excerpts, there are a few lines of dialogue that I would kill to post. They are just so unbelievably bad and funny…we’re talking Paul Anderson or Dean Devlin-levels of hokeyness.
Brian Cox…?
I think he’s continuing the Wolverine thread….since you’re now Mr. Early Script Reviewer
Never mind, I just got the joke (re: sleeping with Brian Cox to get access to scripts). I actually laughed out loud while having dinner and my wife looked at me as if I was insane.
Jesus, I’m slow today…
Makes me glad I decided not to explain it earlier.
I’m happy you didn’t, good stuff.
Note: edited review with additional thoughts.
The whole positive/negative energy thing in your spoiler reminds me of Ghostbusters 2…which was a comedy.
It doesn’t sound quite as bad as Lady in the Water, but then again what could?
Very good point, Jack. I really wonder if it will even rise to the level of Ghostbusters 2, though…
God you haters never cease. This was the first draft. NO screenplay writer writes an outstanding first draft. NONE.
I just took about 15 seconds to read and get to the “Trivia” section of this post. It states that The Happening is at least one revision removed from the “first draft” because it was rewritten and renamed.
As much faith as I have in GEE’s, I doubt any of us could get a first draft script.
Thanks for spreading the joy this Christmas season John. And on the 3rd day of Hannukkah, no less.
Hater? Never mind the fact that I spent half the review rambling on about how much I loved Night’s stuff…
And John - unless I’m mistaken: the biggest problem with the film (plot) has remained unchanged from draft to draft. It’s still a killer, mood-plant movie.
Scoop! http://hollywood-elsewhere.com/archives/2007/12/the_happening.php
I just commented in that thread, funny.
That poster/review only reminds me of my deep, burning hatred for The Happening…
I just saw your comment. We had to have been bouncing between this thread and that one at the same time….eery
aside: do you know how to leave “notes” in Netflix? It always says my notebook is empty and I should leave some for my friends, but I have no idea how to do it.
He’s probably commenting there again, right now. Ooooeeeeeooooo-oooooooo!
Hmmm, I received a note from you the other day informing me that Crouching Tiger/Hidden Dragon was a “Masterpiece!”. I responded with a “Overrated!”. Not sure if I did it correctly, though.
Hey, I barely comment on Wells’ site anymore! Once in a blue moon.
Yeah, i wasn’t sure either, so i guess it worked. Clearly your comment came across jumbled. Overrated must be translated differently on the East Coast.
Haha, it’s good…just not great.
At the very least: I’ll always enjoy watching it if only to satisfy my Ziyi Zhang fixation.
Just to let you know.. I have a different view on “The Village” than you guys.
Movie came out just before the last presidential elections. It was fully political.
- Bunch of rulers who keep their village (country?) scared of unknown creatures (terrorists?)
- Middle name of the leader of this ruler is “Walker”, which is George bush’s middle name.
- Color Schemes of danger just like in U.S. (e.g green is safe, red is danger)
Being “clever” (or thinking you are) is not the same as being good. And hell, Birth of a Nation, even Rambo 3, were “fully political”, you want to defend them? A film being in line with your own politics (whatever they may be) doesn’t necessarily make it good, either.
If the film was supposed to be a satire, it wasn’t very funny. Well, all right, it was occasionally, but I don’t think we were supposed to laugh at *spoiler* Adrien Brody as a retarded man in a monster suit.*end spoiler*
In the end the film has more in common with the Wicker Man-remake than it does The Sixth Sense. You watch that Nicolas Cage flick and you might see where we’re coming from.
Hey, James, you ever wonder where all the M. Night fans hang out?
http://mnightfans.com/forums/index.php?topic=1541.0
I don’t think they like you.
I only wish I’d actually been high when reading the script…
Die hard Shyamalan fans: I feel your pain and wish I had better news to report.
I also have loved much of the man’s work, but The Happening is beneath him.
I saw the script and indeed you were not high…
New(er) trailer. Still no mention of plants.
http://www.worstpreviews.com/trailer.php?id=921&item=1
Interesting…I wonder how low they’re going to keep the “twist” secret?
so is this movie breaking off of the idea of “the day of the triffids”? sounds like it, no?
Similar yes. The plants aren’t sentient, but involuntarily react to positive/negative energy by releasing a natural neuro-toxin in order to wipe out the parasite (man) damaging mother nature.
Just read the Traffids entry on Wikipedia, never realized that 28 Days Later’s opening scenes are a bit of a homage.
Calling someone a hater is not thinking, it’s just name-calling.
The problem is that Night only made one good, complete movie. The rest of his work is fractional - Unbreakable is plodding, has some great family moments, but ends poorly and has some plot holes and letdowns. (Why would a superhero who is a strongman defeat a tub of lard villain with a choke hold? Why not just punch him out? We saw Willis bench all that weight.)
Signs is the real beginning of the end. Night’s writing is incredibly cliche and ham handed (the worst: Joauquin’s dying mom tells him to swing away in life and so help me he actually swings away climactically at an alien. Good god the hackery. He recycles big foot imagery, war of the worlds imagery, his water as kryptonite, uses crop circles as communication for aliens capable of interstellar travel, has aliens that can jump houses but can’t kick down a flimsy door, aliens can conquer a planet but don’t bother to learn that a poisonous toxin - water - permeates the atmosphere, it goes on and ON)
Signs is a dreadful, incredibly poorly written movie that survives by only going from one visual soundbite to another (tinfoil hats and spooky glasses of water and baby monitors on cartops to crop circles. It’s all moody atmosphere, gimmick.
What surprises me is how many knowledgeable film people actually think his movies are entertaining, let alone ‘deep.’
There’s nothing to them, they are fluff. Take a family, slow pacing, insist that there is some sort of super truth that is beyond reason and the intellect that can redeem us, take a pastiche of cheesy little sci-fi moments and pretend that one-dimensional characters are letting the audience in on some insight of great portent.
Sixth Sense works because it was fun, suspenseful, and novel. It didn’t pretend to Reveal anything. It was well crafted. It used the vapid platitudes of psychotherapy very well, the ghost himself needs therapy. NIce reversal. Nothing else to it than that.
Every movie he made after that pretended that he had something to say, which he doesn’t, except platitudes about faith and the limits of science that would comfortably fit in an hour of Oprah.
Just go back and look at his characters. None of them are memorable, and there is no intelligent dialogue. It’s all portent, as vapid and empty as the latter two Matrix movies.
The latest Night movie has all the same tropes: family in danger, the supertruth beyond reason and science, the collapsing world, the silly catchy visuals, the bland 1 dimensional characters, the diffuse paranoia, the plodding pace. He can’t help himself, he really thinks he’s some sort of PG13 prophet.
I won’t even bother with The Village or the Lady in the Water. If you liked those, you’re beyond redemption. Seriously, those were too putrid to debate. The dialogue, writing, theme, all of it is so over the top sledgehammer obvious and rank I wouldn’t know where to begin.
If you want an interesting take on environmental revenge, try reading JG Ballard for intelligent, moody, environmental apocolypse. The Burning World, or the Crystal World. Far, far smarter and layered.
I don’t know Shyamalan’s track record since Signs hasn’t been that good. Signs, technologically advanced aliens come to earth, turn invisible, disrupt global communications, but can’t figure out doorknobs or find a way to guard against water, and why come to a planet whose inhabitants are 75% water and that is itself 75% water? The Villagje I guessed the twist in the previews and Lady in the Water I don’t even want to see in a so bad it’s good type of way. Shyamalan seems to want his movies dark and sweet and optimistic at the same time. I’ve just watched the preview for the Happening and for a movie to be about an event which threatens the existence of mankind it needs to be dark to 1. Create the illusion that the threat is real and 2. Justify a happy ending. I’ll see this because I’ve enjoyed Mark Wahlberg in certain movies and Zooey Deschanel seems to perrenially be the best part of any movie she’s in no matter how awful it is. But I fully expect a great concept bogged down by bad dialogue, stupid decisions on the part of the lead characters and a sappy, out of left field love conquers all ending.
In terms of “Day of the Triffids”, either read the terrific Wyndham book or dig up the 1981 BBC miniseries, which was far truer to the original work and far less daft than the shlocky 1962 Hollywoodization.
In terms of plants being scary, well, anything can be scary in the hands of the right director (think “The Birds”
(okay, I’ll back up a little bit on this: I just watched “Night of the Lepus” and no, it’s well nigh impossible to make fluffy bunnies scary)
Interesting writeup and comments. My take on Shyamalan: Sixth Sign was good but, yes, I did guess the twist. Unbreakable, interesting but perhaps miscast with Willis. Signs, creepy until I realized where Shyamalan was going. The Village? Stupid. Lady in the Lake? Couldn’t get past the goofy previews…
*sigh* I was afraid of this. I loved the Sixth Sense (even though I seldom watch it. I honestly find many of the ghost scenes really unsettling despite them not being really gory or gross) and I really loved Unbreakable. I’m a huge super hero comic fan and watching that movie is the closest I think any has ever come to emulating a comic book, in that each scene is staged with minimal movement so as to emulate a comic book panel.
Then comes Signs. Which was okay. I do think it’s one of the best performances Mel’s given in a long long time but the ending did not work well for Me.
Then comes The Village. Which frankly I do think is deep and meaningful and not in a current events parallel way. To me it’s a movie about the perpetual nostalgia movement that exists in all times that wants to declare how much better things were before. Safer, kinder, saner. This is simply not true. It’s also about using fear of the supernatural to keep people in line. So yeah I love the movie and frankly if you don’t like it well then don’t but it doesn’t change a damn thing for me.
*sighing deeply and mournfully* Then we come to Lady In The Water. Ye gods I wanted to like it. I mean it has Paul Isthereanythingthismancan’tplay Giamati. But it just clunked for me. And frankly clunked big time.
And now this. I was hoping. But I had heard the plant angle somewhere long before now and I won’t deny I thought Triffids too. Frankly I don’t think I’ll be in the theater for it and unless it gets a lot of really stellar reviews (from reviewers who I know actually exist ) I doubt I’ll even bother with it on DVD.
I am sad because I do think that M. Night has great talent, and frankly I do think sometimes the main stream doesn’t get him. But in this case it doesn’t sound like it. It sounds like he had a marginal idea and no confidence in it, and rather than let it go and work on something else or fight for his vision he’s chosen to suck up to the suits.
In my experience as a movie goer that usually results in the worst kind of drek.
Peace
And
Long
Life
Toriach
First Toriach, I loved what you said, and how you said it.
Sixth Sense and oddly enough, Signs, are two of my fav movies. But Signs is only my favorite because I love deeply flawed sci-fi trash. This is a sub-genre that is loaded with little gems from invasion of the saucer men to First men to the moon. Signs was not good in any sense of the word, as de-constructed by many intelligent bloggers here. Water, tin foil hats and a preacher with a lapse in faith says it all.
I learned of the Village’s secret and though that was stupid. Don’t planes fly overhead?
I’m over mermaid movies.
And now this? Killer trees. Good night, M. night.
Actually Kapollo, it was said in the end of the village that a group of government officials were paid off to keep planes from flying over the preserve. Which, doesn’t make sense because the guard knowing that means the government official were caught, and wouldn’t the flight plans continue. And further more, I don’t know how many government officials you bribe you can’t keep flight plans from over central Pennsylvania. I only mention this because I think that Shyamalan creates interesting premises but is weak in execution, characterization , dialogue, and pacing. The water allergic aliens aside, which has been pointed out by others, I couldn’t bring myself to care for anyone in that family. I hoped the aliens would kill that little girl. I guessed the twist in the village from the trailers. But the problem other than the one dimensional characters, weak dialogue, trite message, is that glaciers moved faster than that movie. The basic premise of the movie, something that causes mass numbers of people to kill themselves is interesting. But Shyamalan’s movies always get bogged down by cute self help style message and sentimentality. Be nice if somebody like Spielberg or even Christopher Nolan tackled the story.
@chumley (and the rest of the armchair writer/directors) - I’ve got a name for you too: Nobody.
While some of what you’ve said makes sense, the whole “I’m far more brilliant than any of you even though I’ve never done anything with my life other than make manager at my local Hollywood Video” attitude is trite.
Come back and preach film making after you’ve pumped out a couple international blockbusters. In the mean time, you’ve got some returns to alphabetize.
Look, I’ll make this easy for you.
You have two options:
1) At least try to be constructive in your comments, or
2) Find somewhere else to play.
This kind of trash has no value here.
Thanks.
Shady:
I once placed in the top 250 in the first Project Greenlight contest. Does that qualify me to write my opinions about film, or should I just shut up?
Can’t speak for Chumley, but I haven’t managed a video store since I was 21.
However - I’ve been an active Netflix subscriber since 2003, so my credentials are solid.
I did not know that, very cool. What was your script about?
It’s a black comedy sci-fi about Area 51.
So did it star Robert Downey Jr? (rimshot)
I apologize for my visceral reaction. Most of the comments here are relatively thoughtful and made without animus toward the film maker. I am perplexed though about why chumley gets no blow back for his cruel and ignorant remarks while I am vilified for attempting to defend the film maker and film making process (which is far more complicated at the studio level than most understand).
Certainly everyone is entitled to their opinions, but people who espouse their views on film as though it is gospel (especially people who have no experience other than watching movies or taking a film appreciation course) are tiresome.
@JS - Congratulations on Project Greenlight.
My take: It appears to me that chumley did not try to personally insult anyone who commented or posted on this site, whereas your comment was made specifically to belittle.
But thanks for coming back to clear it up and belittle again!
Neat, have you tried taking it elsewhere?
James, I went through the whole rigamarole. I bought the books on how to sell a screenplay, and basically the first step is to get an agent. I did a lot of mailings (you don’t mail the script, you just mail a synopsis and ask if they’re interested in reading it). A few read it, nothing happened. This was like eight-nine years ago. Now it’s a little dated (I wrote it before the movie Men in Black came out, and I have Men in Black as characters), and though I think it’s good it’s certainly not blockbuster material.
Since then I’ve written another one, with the attitude that I’m going to write for myself. Screenwriting is a rather craven profession, as you have to tailor your work for the tastes of others to an astonishing degree. In wriiting prose fiction, there is at least a market, albeit a small one, for literary or avant-garde stuff, but not so much in film, and I don’t have the wherewithal to shoot my own movie.
My script did get nice marks from someone who gave it coverage. The woman who did that mentioned (seriously) that I would be better off living in California, because if you don’t, they think you’re a hobbyist and not serious about it. She went so far as to suggest that if I knew someone who lived in L.A. I should use their mailing address. I think I’ll stick to writing prose, because it doesn’t matter where you live.
Shady:
I just re-read Chumley’s comment. If I don’t agree with all of it, it’s certainly well-reasoned (it may border on the cruel, but I think Night can take it, given all his millions) and it certainly isn’t ignorant.
Spare me the persecution complex, please.
chumley gave his reasons for disliking films, but all you did was throw insults around. By all means defend films if you want to, be a dick while so doing if it makes you happy, but understand that this involves more than just calling someone a moron and patting yourself on the back.
Then I humbly suggest that not only is this site not right for you, but neither is this great medium that we call the internet. Best wishes.
I still give you major props for trying. Most of us keep the ideas in our heads bottled up for a lifetime.
Have you gotten anything published on the prose fiction side?
I’ve had lots of “erotica” published, most of it under assumed names, in magazines like Penthouse Variations. I also have written some “journalism” for that publication and Penthouse Forum (interviews with adult film stars, visits to strip clubs, etc.) The Pulitzer committee was unimpressed.
Are you still doing the Penthouse thing now (I know you mentioned you were an editor there in the past)?
I still write for them occasionally. I also write reviews of adult films for Adam Film World. So, in a sense, I am a professional film critic!
Getting an opportunity to write about what you love is truly a great thing.
A former buddy of mine used to work freelance as a writer in that industry, but gave it up once he had kids. He said it was too difficult to interview porn stars & dominatrixes during the day and then be family man at night.
Your friend has a valid point. I’m single and childless, so the amount of porn in my house embarrasses only me (god help my mother if I should croak and she should have to clean out my apartment). But if I were to have kids clearly things would have to change somewhat. “Can’t play catch now, Bobby, daddy’s got to watch Buttwoman Part 39!”
I realized that I hated M. Night Shaymalan when I saw The Village.
I kept thinking that it would get scary or at least somewhat interesting, but alas, an hour passed and I felt that nothing had happened.
The movie actually made me physically ill and as I stumbled down the stairs of the theater I actually threw up on a little girl (purely by accident).
I wasn’t really embarrassed because I felt it was a justified response to the pure trash I had just witnessed.
The girl started crying and her mom started yelling at me. I think she thought I was on some drugs or something. My friends had mixed responses. Some laughed, some got really embarrassed and avoided me. Some just got mad and I haven’t really talked to them since.
To make things worse I demanded my money back and, jokingly, threatened to sue because the movie made me sick. I didn’t achieve either.
The whole incident, the vomiting and all that, seemed like a sequel to the movie I had just sat through.
The Village is officially my least favorite movie of all time.
There was actually a sci-fi short story that I read years ago that has a similar plot idea. In it the plants were taking revenge on humans by killing them and turning them into plant-like beings. I remember the main character’s mom was killed by the plants because she liked taking her car off road and driving over vegetation or something like that. I think that the main character survived because he was nicer to the plants than normal people.
I wish I remember what the short story was or who it was by. I do remember it was freaky because plants are everywhere and if they turn against you, YOU CAN’T STOP THEM. Then again, I was about 12 when I read this story.
Lady in The Water is the only movie he’s made that I actually like.
Trent has proved that there are all kinds of people.
Hell, this thread has proved that. James, this review of yours brings up all kinds of feelings in people.
So this explains the sudden burst in traffic for this post.
Yeah, we got a lot of hits from here as well:
http://www.ecorazzi.com/2008/03/18/m-nights-the-happening-is-moronic-environmentalism
Why “the plants get mad and fight back” so horrible and hokey? Makes a hell of a lot more sense to me than radioactive spider bite.
Okay…i understand that this guy is a fan of shyamalan, so i would assume that he would pay closer attention to the script.
I have also read the script and must say that, yes, the plot seems illogical…then again…it’s a horror movie. That’s exactly what MNS is going for here…a horror movie. The dialogue may be choppy, as in all shyamalan movies, but this guy vastly overlooked the strong points of the story.
Off the top of my head…if you read it again you’ll realize that they explain why they can’t go indoors or gather in large groups. Most of the things you are panning may sound stupid out of context…but in the story make a whole lot of sense
Aileen
I remember reading that short story in one of the Bruce Coville’s Book of _________ books as a really young kid. I believe they were collections of various authors so no idea who actually wrote it, which book it was in, or the title of the story but hopefully this helps.
Not sure how long this will stay up, but someone has posted the screenplay online HERE (link via JoBlo):
I’m not suggesting anyone download so they mock it themselves, but if you’re a criminal type…have fun.
>Then I humbly suggest that not only is this site not right for you, but neither is this great medium that we call the internet. Best wishes.
Brian - This is the funniest thing I have read all day. What makes it even funnier is that I think you are serious.
tc,
Will
I’m halfway through it. It’s OK standard horror stuff (though the CAPITALIZATION of RANDOM actions seems a little WEIRD) until you get to “THE TREES WHISPER MISCHIEVIOUSLY” on pg 41. What the heck?
I agree with you that it starts off intense…but we’ll see what the latter half has for me
I echo Joe’s sentiments. Some of it is pretty frackin’ cool…but it’s wrapped inside a movie about plants making people kill themselves. While it doesn’t seem as ridiculous to me as James thinks it is, there are some real puerile moments in there and some hammy, pretty bad writing. The trees whispering anything is weird…I hope what I think it going to happen in the second half just doesn’t happen…the scene with the woman on the phone with her girl in college…please don’t tell me the tree was doing something…please don’t say it was doing something…
“The intimidating field of wild grass…”
This has officially become one of the worst scripts I’ve ever read. I mean, it has now lost me completely. Thank god you won’t hear that when you watch the movie. Or maybe they should, it would make it a good comedy.
Agghhgggg…
” I knew it wasn’t my breathing…”
Oh. My. God. Awful, awful, awful…this movie has just FALLEN apart…James was absolutely spot-on with his assessment…I honestly think this will now do nothing to further Night’s career. I can’t wait to hear the reviews on this one.
I’m sorry to leave so many comments, but my god….
“A certain critical amount of people together may be a new trigger.”
That is one of the clunkiest lines of dialogue I have ever read…that’s like freshman film school dialogue…
“Stay ahead of the wind…”
Monty Python could make a great fart movie out of this scene…”Stay ahead of the wind! Stay ahead of the wind! The smell is stronger DOWNWIND!”
I’m hyperventilating…………at the single most ridiculous scene ever placed into a script…oh, my god…how this script even made it through production…I truly hope this scene isn’t in the finished film…you MUST all know what scene I mean…holy hell…it must be Mark Walbergh’s character saying it…oh, this is truly one of the most assenign things I have ever read.
It’s the most fun I’ve had with a script in a long time, though…
I can’t figure what’s worse…
The awful ending to that movie…or the fact that the egomaniac signed the end of the script with his initials.
This post has moved into the lead as our most-viewed post. Congrats, James!
that was hilarious!!! i hope everyone who wants to see this movie, READ THIS REVIEW so they won’t make any money @ the box office
I was thinking on this all last night…and in all seriousness…some blog needs to have a long discussion about Harry Knowles. The simple idea that he could say what he said about this script…if this was the draft he read…that this is one of the greatest things Night has ever written?
I mean, honestly…Mr. Knowles is influencing generations of movie-goers…in the nineties(right?) and now…telling them where to go and what to see and what to do…
He actually went on to praise this script on his site…was I missing something? It’s one of the worst I’ve ever read…how did AICN ever rise to such prominence with someone who could recommend a movie based on the script I read last night. I have nothing against the guy, I don’t know him…but what was he thinking? What did he see in the script? Did he read the entire thing?
I would love to know his reasoning…
I’ll respond to this growing thread this weekend, up to my eyeballs at work!
I read the screenplay too. It was a first draft back then. So I don’t really see what you’re talking about. It isn’t M. Night hitting rock bottom. It is very interesting the hatred for this man by the entertainment media.
I think this movie will put him back on top. Not that he really hit bottom in the first place.
That’s why we have James on board here at Gone Elsewhere - we needed the entertainment media in our pocket.
http://www.collider.com/entertainment/reviews/article.asp/aid/7903/tcid/1
This Defamer article quotes the above review, but I love the title!
The Collider review is shockingly similar to my own, doesn’t sound like the finished film is much better than the script.
I saw a TV preview for this last night. People that don’t read reviews and just see previews are going to give this a lot of money on opening night. It’s cut like an above average horror film and those usually make a small fortune their first weekend before falling off the face of the earth. If they continue to play up the “scariest movie of the summer” aspect, they may get enough on opening weekend to erase the total loss it could be.
I agree, Joe. The commercial I’ve seen is somewhat effective, and 99.9 percent of the public knows nothing about the flak the movie has taken on the web. Will have a big opening and then crash and burn.