Ah, August. A month of would-be Summer tentpoles that couldn’t hack it May-July along with a plethora of assorted crap being dumped before prestige season. I’m so happy to be able to catalog this terrible month for all of you on a weekly basis!
2 Guns (RT: 63%, MC: 59%) – I have no idea what this is about beyond “Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington buddy movie that kind of reminds me of Fled” but reviews are pretty solid. Critics are applauding the work of director Baltasar Kormakur (Contraband) along with chemistry of the two leads. Personal interest factor: 7
The Smurfs 2 (RT: 14%, MC: 35%) – The first Smurfs film was a textbook generic studio children’s film and this somehow looks worse. Sony has already announced their intent to unleash a third film in 2015, dropping that press release like an old-school, analog Bin Laden tape in order to intimidate the masses. Personal interest factor: 1
Blackfish (RT: 97%, MC: 83%) Acclaimed documentary on the effects of captivity on killer whales.
Crystal Fairy & The Magical Cactus (RT: 80%, MC: 67%) – Michael Cera road trip comedy. Might be good, but looks insufferable to me.
Lee Daniels’ Sharknado – The SyFy Channel phenomenon gets a possibly-unprecedented nationwide roll-out as a midnight feature this weekend.
For classic fare: The Criterion in New Haven is running the cult classic The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975) and Bonjour Tristesse (1958) Friday-Sunday. Be sure to pack your rice, water pistols, rubber gloves and toast for both features.