This has got to be one of the shittiest weeks for Openings I’ve ever seen.
Allegiant (34) is the third in the series, and it seems with each one the quality goes down. I saw Divergent, didn’t see the second, even with my age-inappropriate crush on Shailene Woodley, and the third is described as poor. The fourth may be a turkey for the ages. Michael Phillips: “It’s a pretty dull picture, I must say, because it’s my duty to say it. And it’s a pretty dull picture, I must say, because something about its particular grade of dullness may cause memory loss.”
The Bronze stars and was co-written by Melissa Rauch, who I think is on The Big Bang Theory. It’s about a once famous gymnast hitting the skids and then, of course, getting a shot at redemption. A movie about a gymnast who drinks and swears is novel, but the reviews are not kind. And doesn’t this seem like the kind of movie Anna Faris should do? Todd McCarthy: “The Bronze is a strident comedy made in accordance with the sole guiding principle of, when in doubt, go even more vulgar.”
Finally is Miracles in Heaven (44) is a Christian film starring Jennifer Garner that puts an emphasis on faith in medical emergencies. That would drive me up a wall, but I’m not a Christian and I’m not the demographic. Clint Worthington: “There are plenty of fantastic films with Christian messages, but Miracles From Heaven is more interested in simplistic proselytizing to a heavily evangelical market that just wants their own existing beliefs confirmed. This is what makes the film so frustrating to watch; for the vast majority of its runtime, it’s essentially a good (if not great) family drama.”