Opening in Las Vegas, March 18, 2016


This has got to be one of the shittiest weeks for Openings I’ve ever seen.

Allegiant (34) is the third in the series, and it seems with each one the quality goes down. I saw Divergent, didn’t see the second, even with my age-inappropriate crush on Shailene Woodley, and the third is described as poor. The fourth may be a turkey for the ages. Michael Phillips: “It’s a pretty dull picture, I must say, because it’s my duty to say it. And it’s a pretty dull picture, I must say, because something about its particular grade of dullness may cause memory loss.”

The Bronze stars and was co-written by Melissa Rauch, who I think is on The Big Bang Theory. It’s about a once famous gymnast hitting the skids and then, of course, getting a shot at redemption. A movie about a gymnast who drinks and swears is novel, but the reviews are not kind. And doesn’t this seem like the kind of movie Anna Faris should do? Todd McCarthy: “The Bronze is a strident comedy made in accordance with the sole guiding principle of, when in doubt, go even more vulgar.”

Finally is Miracles in Heaven (44) is a Christian film starring Jennifer Garner that puts an emphasis on faith in medical emergencies. That would drive me up a wall, but I’m not a Christian and I’m not the demographic. Clint Worthington: “There are plenty of fantastic films with Christian messages, but Miracles From Heaven is more interested in simplistic proselytizing to a heavily evangelical market that just wants their own existing beliefs confirmed. This is what makes the film so frustrating to watch; for the vast majority of its runtime, it’s essentially a good (if not great) family drama.”


About Jackrabbit Slim

Location: Vegas, Baby! I’m much older than the other whippersnappers here, a baby boomer. I tend to be more snobbish about film, disdaining a lot of the multiplex fare for “cinema.” My favorite films: Woody Allen’s oeuvre (up until about 1990), The Godfather, The Graduate, A Hard Day’s Night, Pulp Fiction. Politics: Well, George McGovern was my political hero. I’m also a prickly atheist. Occupation: Poised to be an English teacher in Las Vegas. For many years I was an editor at Penthouse Magazine. My role on this blog seems to be writing lots of reviews and being the resident Oscar maven.

8 responses »

  1. When I saw you reference to Allegiant as being the next title in the series I thought you were joking. Struggling to think of a worse sequel title in a series.

    Re: Faris, she seems to have drifted away from films (hasn’t done one since 2013) until her current TV show ends. Apparently she’s started her own podcast as well.

  2. They’re deep into pre-production, but I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Lionsgate pulled the plug on the last Divergent picture.

  3. But wow The Bronze is tanking. $370,000, $317 average. Brothers Grimsby is down 60 percent and is at 5 million and change total. Cohen will have to go back to just hiring himself out as an actor (he’s good in musicals) or back to TV.

  4. Such a humiliating end. It would be less embarrassing to just move on and try to reboot the entire thing as a series from the beginning in a few years.

    Lionsgate’s days of playing with the big boys in terms of producing/releasing mega budget tentpoles is probably coming to an end. They have absolutely nothing on their slate for the rest of the decade that looks like it will break out.

  5. Shailene Woodley has an interesting choice. The article says she may not automatically turn down the TV series (Miles Teller certainly will). Her career sure hasn’t worked it out like it look it might after The Fault in Their Stars. Think of it–she was second choice for Room, and had she got it, she’d have probably won an Oscar and had Brie Larson’s career.

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